50 Shades of Green

50 Shades of Green

1st extract.

A serialisation of a Novel of the same name by brand new writer

E.M. Kelly

We will look at a chapter a week and have some discussion as the author makes up an ending.

The Story Follows Ailish and her quest to find true romance in the West of Ireland

Gaeltacht. Mayo. Ireland. 1999

There is a village called Tourmakeady on the banks of Lough Mask. here is one of the few places in the County that speak Irish. It is currently holding a “Irish Festival” for kids aged 14-17 to learn the Irish Language.

Living la Vida loca was blaring on the radio aptly has as much Irish as these kids were learning.

Ailish walked through the village that she had gotten to know for the last few weeks, in a way she called it “home”.

Ailish was sent to the festival by her parents in America. Irish born and illegal over in the States, they sent over their only daughter as much as they could to represent them as she had a green card as she was born in the US.

Ailish finds the Irish situation hilarious. She learned a “cupla focal” after coming over year on year to live with about 14 other girls in the Gaeltacht. However most of her few words were like “Ta….can I have some milk…le do thoil”.

Tourmakeady is a small enough town, with a few farms about. Her accommodation was in “Feirm Mor” up by the end of the town. Feirm Mor being the Irish for “Big farm”.

It was 10pm. Past curfew. She was on her way to meet Micheal. Her one true love. She could not wait to kiss him. It would be her first kiss.

Micheal was a tall lad. not much to look at. she was meeting him down by the sheds at the other side of the village/town by the farmhouses that the farm hands stay in. they lights are off tonight. it was a busy harvest day. they probably sleeping she mused to herself.

She reaches the sheds.

Micheal is there. He is looking well and smells different. She thought different is good? it was a familiar smell but she couldn’t quite place it.

“You smell nice”

“Lynx africa” Micheal replied with a boastful tone.

“Nice.” She had no idea what that was but assumed it was a posh expensive perfume.

“It’s a beautiful night tonight, isn’t it”

“It is” she says

“sit down there on this ledge”

Micheal has a blanket laid out on a little rise in the land. On it is a lamp, 2 cans of Stonehouse cider and an extra large box of condoms. Ailish didn’t know what to think, so she chose to ignore them.

They sit down and stare into the open sky in silence.

Then Micheal turns to her

“Ta tu an gnéasach ar fad ar fad”

“What?” quizzed Ailish

“You look alright, in Irish, thought I’d show I’m a cunning linguist”

“Oh thanks” and they kiss awkwardly.

Suddenly, Micheal reaches for the Ailish’s right boob catching her off guard

She shrieks in terror and pulls away.

She falls back and over the ledge. Its a open silage pitch.

Micheal lets a roar out “Ailish” as she falls head first into the pit.

“Help” he shrieks louder and louder

“HELP” , he shouted as loud as he could “any one… Please”.

Panic is setting in as he starts fumbling words in Irish,

“Aider moi, Help, an bhfuil cead agam dul go dti an leithreis”

There was a noise in the distance of the farmhouse. Lights come on. Some one comes

It farm hand Paddy. Micheal knows him from School.

Paddy runs to the pit. Looks at Micheal who is a wreck

“p p p p Please…h h h help”.

Without saying anything, Paddy looked around and found a pitchfork.

He dug it deep into the ground and used it a lever point for him to reach into the silage.

He digs deep and swoops around with his hand.


He pulls out the pitchfork and puts it in lower into the bank of the pit so he can reach lower. And he reaches back into the pit.

Finally he hits something. Its Avril.

He pulls her out of the pit and onto the side. Nearly losing footing himself.

She is alive.

Covered in shit.

But is alive.


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