Fake News

Squeeze from your bottom for longer life

Scientists have announced that people who squeeze from the bottom of the Toothpaste tube can extend your life by 5 years

The Institute of Teeth, who compled the servey, had 100 people divided evenly as people who squeezed their toothpaste from the middle, and people who squeezed from the bottom.

We then measured their stress levels when they used their toothpaste. the people who grabbed from the middle were over 10% more stressed than a bottom squeezer. if you put this peak over a lifetime, that could lead to shorter life

Bottom squeezers were actually found to get a hit of smugness when they squeeze out from the bottom, that is absent in the middle squeezers.

The reseach, which has yet to be verified, could lead to ground breaking inventions like the stand up dispenser toothpaste, Chewing gum toothpaste and fingerbrush.

We did find out that if you squeeze from the bottom and live with a middle squeezer, then you are buggered.

Photo by PhotoMIX Company from Pexels

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